Keith, Isn't That Just Like Him?
Mood:  a-ok
Now that Keith has been declared as A-OK by the Stones camp, here is a commentary by Scott Paulsen of WDVE radio in Pittsburgh, that is quite funny!

Isn't That Just Like Keith?

May 3, 2006

Scott Paulsen



There goes Keith, falling from a tree. Isn't that just like him?



There are certain celebrities who, when strangeness befalls them, create no surprise. Whether it's because of their personalities, the circle of acquaintances they frequent or past histories of adventure and mayhem, when oddball things happen to some celebrities, nobody is surprised.

Let me give you an example.

Keith Richards was admitted to a hospital in New Zealand the other day for treatment of a concussion. This caused some interest and reaction, mostly because Mr. Richards, in addition to being a famous rock star, is 62 years old. Anyone of that somewhat advanced age who receives a concussion is newsworthy. What amazes me is the fact that when the explanation of how Keith bopped his head became public, no one flinched. In fact, most people took it completely in stride, as if it was an everyday happening and completely expected.

He fell while trying to climb up a palm tree on the island of Fiji.

Had this happened to your next-door neighbor you would still be telling the story to total strangers you met at the store. “Hi, you don't know me, but wait until you hear about this! My neighbor (who's 62, mind you) is in the hospital with a concussion. You wanna know how he got it? He fell out of a palm tree! In Fiji! He was climbing it!”

Unfortunately for Keith, most people are not surprised to hear about his accident. In fact, most folks who recognize the name probably think it's quite normal for him to fall while climbing for cocoanuts.

When word filtered ‘round the globe about the ‘Stone's space walk, no one flinched. It was almost as if we expected it. Eventually, we all figured, it would happen. It was only a matter of time. You know Keith.

Even after the news turned grim and reports aired that, rather than a “mild concussion” as was first reported, Keith in fact has suffered some more complicated problems from the fall, it is still being sloughed off as if another one of his wacky gags.

Toss a TV from a hotel room.

Endure a drug bust.

Have your blood changed at the local Quickee Lube.

Word comes this week that the fall is, indeed, more serious than first reported. The latest news, being reported in Great Britain, is that Keith is suffering from a brain hemorrhage and has been scheduled for an operation in which doctors will drill a hole into his skull to relieve some pressure from excess blood build up.

That crazy Keith.

There he goes again.

Having his skull drilled.

Isn't that just like him?

Bet he was high.

Because he has survived seemingly a road-to-ruin lifestyle, Keith remains nearly indestructible to many of us. Nothing can hurt him. Nothing he does surprises us. He is the chicken little of rock.

There are others.

Robert Downey, Junior. Billy Bob Thornton. Angelina Jolie. Michael Jackson, somewhat. Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter. That guy that runs the Virgin company. Lance Armstrong.

The late, great Jim Morrison was such a chicken little celebrity that there are many who still think the cat's alive somewhere. He didn't die. He staged the whole thing.

That crazy Mr. Mojo Risin.

There he goes again.

Faking his death.

Isn't that just like him?

Bet he was drunk.

Remember a couple of years ago when Jimmy Buffet crashed an airplane? Back in 1996, Buffet stuck his two-seater airplane nose-down into water. It wasn't a seaplane. The runway was over there, on the land. Jimmy suffered some pretty serious injuries and came dangerously close to drowning in the surf.

People's reactions?

That crazy Jimmy Buffet.

There he goes again.

Crashing his plane.

Isn't that just like him?

Bet he was drunk and high.

I guess, as Dad used to say, you make your bed, you sleep in it. (Interestingly enough, I never saw my father ever make a bed. He slept a lot, though.) If you create a persona of balls-to-the-wall survival, when the real world comes cascading down around you and fate serves you up a heaping helping of bad fortune, nobody's going to blink twice.

There isn't much in the way of sympathy for the Devil.

And it's all in the perception.

John Denver crashes a plane and everybody is shocked. “We didn't even know he could fly!” Jimmy Buffet crashes a plane and it's as if it happens everyday.

There will come a day (hopefully not too soon) when the death of Keith Richards will be reported. It will probably be of something very common, like cancer or heart failure.

No one, of course, will believe it.

Keith would never die like that.

On the other hand, if one day your local trusted news reporter comes to the screen to announce that Mr. Richards, former Rolling Stone, succumbed after being trampled by a pack of wild water buffalo while attempting to retrieve his Zippo lighter that had fallen from his pocket while on safari, not only would we all believe it, but we'd all have the same reaction.

That crazy Keith.

There he goes again.

Dying.

Isn't that just like him?